I know I haven't been keeping up with this blog for a while, and I plan on getting started back here soon with stuff on attack wing, warhammer, and some games, but I just want to take the time to write this all out. Tell the world of my heartache and loss.
Today, May 1st 2014, I lost someone very close to me. My grandad passed away early in the morning of what seems to be natural causes at the age of 76. I had been taking care of both him and my gma for a few years now, and it was only recently that his condition had worsen and my caretaking duties were amped up to the max.
I never was really any good with words, but he knew that I loved him. Before he passed I visited him up at the hospital, hoping that his spirits would lift seeing me, joking around with him, feeding him chocolate and other things he wasn't really supposed to have, and that seemed to work. He was discharged from the hospital and was sent home for us to watch after him. Being the insomniac that I am, I volunteered to look after him every 30-45 minutes til everyone else woke up. I last checked on him at 4:30 this morning, he seemed to be in pain so I rubbed his head a bit, and he smiled and mumbled something. I smiled back and then said I'll see you tomorrow and went on to bed. Couple of hours later my gma woke me up saying the worst news you could ever hear.. He's gone. I rushed down there and checked on him, cold as ice.. I lost it. The man who was a better father to me than my real dad was gone, Leaving behind my gma, and the rest of the family.
He may have been stubborn, hard headed, and a complete jackass at times, but we knew he loved us all more than anything in the world. His last vision, which I have stood in the exact spot and viewed, were of us, his grandkids. I know he was proud of us, how we had grown and matured, and I guess that's some solace to this. I'm not a religious person, but I know he's no longer in pain and that somewhat gives me comfort.
I know this wound will take time to heal, if it ever does. I know that right now my job is to take care of my gma, and my mom, while trying to get back out on my feet. It will be difficult, and I may seem very distant for a while even surrounded by friends, but right now, as much as my introverted anti-social nature will hate it, I need people more than ever. If no more than just someone there to talk to about games or the nature of the world.
RIP Da. You will always be in my memories.
I'm very sorry to hear about your grandpa. For the short time that I knew him, he was a really stand up guy. However, not much of the same can really be said about you. I would like to remind you that for years before this happened, my very own grandfather passed away. The day that he was to be buried, you broke up with me.
ReplyDeleteAm I still upset that you broke up with me? Absolutely not and thank you for doing so. However, that was definitely not the day to do it. I truly believe that this might be Karma that you deserve for what you did because well you did was probably one of the most horrendous and painful experiences that I believe my heart has truly felt.